


Kiss Me Properly

by ericadffa



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets, Milex - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Feelings Realization, M/M, Sort Of, Teen Years, experimenting, finished in time for Milex Big Bang, i try my best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21556441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericadffa/pseuds/ericadffa
Summary: Eva Petersen was not as keen as everyone else to forgive and forget what happened that one afternoon. However, it was 2020, and that event took place over a decade ago! So, in a last-ditch effort to repair her friendship with the two boys, Miles and Alex, she interrogated them alone to recount what happened that fair afternoon in the summer of 2005. An event that inspired not only the song Do Me a Favour, but Two Hearts in Two Weeks, Mardy Bum, and 505.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11
Collections: Milex Big Bang 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HI! This is my first story on here so, please don't be gentle. I want to hear all of your comments!  
> I bounce between scripts and fiction stories, so do inform me if you find any scenes to be a bit blocky and non-descriptive.  
> Also, I try my best! But, I will never get all the English mannerisms or slang in my lifetime. Unless I properly move to Liverpool or Sheffield sometime.
> 
> I really do hope you like the story though! And I hope you enjoy reading this odd headcanon of mine!

The storm whipped through the sky as Miles and Eva ran out of the taxi. Alex stayed back to pay the taxi driver, getting pelted with heavy, piercing raindrops. 

“Fanks,” Alex said as he smacked the top of the taxi twice. The cab drove off, and Alex ran to the front door of Miles’ rental house just off the LA coast. He found Miles and Eva still standing there, a little less sobbing wet than Alex but, the two of them were being pelted from side to side by the rain. It was the three of them now as Miles was going through every pocket looking for his keys.

“So, where are they? You bloody idiot! If you can’t find them, I might as well leave.” Eva screamed, but it sounded like a whisper under the sound of the wind. 

“I got em’! I got em’ somewhere!” Miles retorted, feeling the panic start to set in. 

“Did you check ya wallet?” Alex spoke seriously. 

“Genius, Al! Bloody genius!” Miles yelled very sarcastically as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and reached for his wallet. 

“You would help more, just standing there!” Eva screamed. 

“No,” A whisper came out of Miles. He grabbed Alex by the face with his right hand and pecked him on the cheek. 

“I forgot! I put it in my wallet because the owners gave me this tiny key," Miles said with a broad smile on his face, holding what could only be described as the smallest house in existence. It was the house key equivalent of those slim SD-card sized USB sticks. Eva's jaw dropped. Not at the size of the key but, at the fact that Alex was being genuine.

“Oh boys, don’t make me regret my decision before I have even done it,” Eva said sternly, but honestly amazed. The two boys haven’t changed a bit. 

Miles unlocked the front door, and the three of them piled into the house. Miles slammed the door closed and, suddenly everything felt very quiet. They all took in the awkward silence for a moment, before tearing off their wet outerwear and shoes.

“Let me go grab some towels,” Miles said, already heading to the bathroom. 

-

The two of them sat on one end of the kitchen island while Eva stood on the other side of the island. They had wrapped themselves in towels and were each nursing a glass of whiskey with the whiskey bottle still on the island. The stern look on Eva’s face stabbed into Miles and Alex’s eyes. The whole scene looked like two kids who had just been caught playing hooky. 

“Well, are we going to talk about that night? Day, afternoon, whatever you want to call it! I didn’t leave that party just to come here to not talk about it. As I said, if we didn’t, I would quote-unquote ‘never speak to you again.’” There was more silence.

“Now, I know I’m not the only heart you broke that night, but, it still hurt. What you said afterwards didn’t help either.” 

“I- I was jealous of your lead vocalist position. Anything that I said, I never meant. It was nothing to do with nothing.” Miles spoke up, head tilted down. 

“Didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt.” 

“Well,” Alex lifted his head, took a swig and then said. 

“It was a night not unlike this,” Alex smirked, then started to giggle. Miles tried to stay straight-faced, but it didn’t last as he started to laugh and riff along with Alex.

“The rain was piercing down from side to side-” Miles started.

“The blistering wind was catching their faces and cutting at their skin.” Alex continued. 

“Boys!!” Eva yelled but was surprised. She actually missed these two idiots after all these years. The two boys burst out into hysterics. However, their antics were cut short by that realisation. Eva didn’t need to be standing in front of them. 

“It’s funny how we’re talking about while dripping wet, wrapped in towels.” Eva spits out with spite. She didn’t need to say that it was hurtful. However, it put Miles and Alex in their place. That’s what they needed right now, to be put on the spot. 

Miles let out the most awkward and painful laugh that slowly turned into a heaving sigh. Alex turned towards Miles and gave him this faint half-smile while speaking.

“It really messed us up, didn’t it?” Miles returned the same half-smile.

“Yeah, it really did. I got all these notions in my head.”

“I did too. We should talk about it. Before we commit to this. I mean, really commit to us.” Alex reached for Miles’ hand and, held it gently. Miles’ face perked up, but his smile went back down to a frown. 

“Okay. Let’s talk about this. Our, real, first kiss.”

_Summer 2005_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be all one chapter, but I stumbled upon this chapter-ending point. So, I hope you enjoy this as the story has now grown another chapter! Please continue to leave your feedback! Or, leaving your kudos if you do enjoy this!
> 
> I hope you have fun reading this!!

Summer 2005

Everyone was at Jamie’s grandparent’s place for a pool party. There was the Arctic Monkeys, Matt, Andy, and Alex, The Little Flames, Miles, Greg, Joe, Eva and Mat, as well as Alex’s girl Johanna and some other school mates. Currently, the whole crew was sopping wet, gathered around the man of the hour, Jamie Cook. He had all the fixings ready for a ripping after-pool party. The only thing he was missing was one crucial item.

“Ice!!” Jamie screamed out while looking in the empty cooler.

“You mean to tell me you got brews, crisps and tunes but you’ve got no ice?” Matt questioned. 

“Yeah! I was gonna pick some up before you guys got here, but then you guys came by early. We kept all the brews in the icebox so far, I didn’t notice.” Matt sighed as well as Jamie.

“Alright, who wants to go get ice with me? I’ve only got enough room for one, but I don’t want to go alone.”

“I’ll go with you,” Johanna said as she raised her hand. Alex looked over at Johanna to see her pretty expressionless face. She walked over to Alex and squeezed him by the side.

“I’ll see ya later,” She whispered.

“I’ll see ya,” Alex whispered back with a smile on his face. 

“Okay, that’s settled then. We’ll be back in about ten, fifteen minutes. No need to change, I’ve got no time for that. Just grab a towel and try not to get my car too wet.” Jamie said as Johanna walked up to him, already holding onto a dry towel. The two starting their way to the back gate when Jamie called out,

“All the rooms are free for you guys to change in. Bedrooms, bathrooms, change in my grandparent’s bloody broom closet if you want, I don’t care. I know there’s a lot of you, so just try not to get too much water all over the house.” Jamie and Johanna left out the back gate and everyone dispersed inside the house. Alex walked in after everyone and could already hear doors being slammed shut and locked. He sauntered past Matt and Andy, who were in mid-conversation. 

“Alright, gather around everyone! Gather around! Grab your knickers and gather around! Now, we’re going to have a smashing party! I’ve got the bevs, I’ve got the crisps, I’ve got the tunes, I’ve got, no bloody ice!!!” Andy humoured Matt with a recounting of the speech Jamie gave to everyone minutes ago. Matt laughed out loud and slapped Andy on the back. Alex quietly chuckled to himself and kept walking. 

“I mean, what in the hell?” Andy laughed and said to Matt.

He reached the bottom of the stairs to the second floor and stopped. It was his typical routine to head up to an upstairs ensuite bathroom. It was always empty and gave him this little moment of peace before going back and socializing with his friends. Perhaps today though, he would actually look around and see if there was a closer place to change into his clothes. It was a large house, after all. He held in his hands a red t-shirt, a fresh pair of boxers, and some tan shorts. He didn’t stand there for long, though. After all, he was still a bit damp and probably causing a puddle where he stood. He headed straight upstairs to find the first ensuite bathroom. 

Once he reached the top of the steps, it was simple. In front of him was a bathroom and to the right of him was what appeared to be the master bedroom, complete with two doors. Down the hallway from the master was another bedroom. It was most likely a guest room. The bathroom was empty, and the master bedroom seemed empty as one door was closed, and the other was more than half-open. Alex could peer slightly in the room. The guest bedroom was most definitely shut and occupied, by who, he didn’t know. Even with a fully open bathroom, Alex headed into the master bedroom, that looked promising. 

When he entered, he felt like he had walked into a different house. It was quiet, eerily quiet. The room felt so comforting. A tightly made bed, pictures on the wall, decorative knick-knacks on the end tables, and an acceptable amount of throw pillows on the bed. For a moment, Alex forgot he was at a party with ten or so people. A smile came across Alex’s face as he breathed calmly. The ensuite bathroom was to the left of him and had its door closed. Without hesitation, Alex walked the bathroom door and opened it wide to walk straight in. 

“Ah! Jesus! Fuck!” Alex slammed the door shut and stood outside, shocked. Alex was not alone in here! No, he was not alone. As he just saw, all of Miles. 

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, mate! I didn’t know anyone was in here! I should have knocked first! I’m sorry!” 

“Jesus, fuck! Al is that you?” There are some scrambling noises inside the bathroom. 

“Yes! I’m sorry! I should have knocked first!” 

“Well, yeah!”

“I always go to the master bathroom because there is usually nobody there! I should-I’m sorry!”

“I do too. It’s alright. It’s okay, Al. We’re in bands, we’re mates. We were bound to accidentally see our John Thomas’ at one point.” 

“I know! That just felt really intrusive! I should’ve knocked first!”

“Well, you could’ve. At least it was just you. Luckily, it wasn’t someone I didn’t know!”

“Still, I should have knocked.”

“You can come in now. I’ve got me boxers and shorts on. I’ll be out in just a second now.” Alex loosened up a bit, turned around and hesitantly grabbed for the door handle.

“Okay, I’m coming in now then!” Alex said while opening the door and stepping inside. He slightly closed the door behind him. Alex turned towards Miles whose mouth dropped a fair bit. Miles bit his lower lip and sighed. Before him, was a dripping wet Alex Turner. An acne-riddled face which, to Miles, each spot looked prettier than the stars at night. Scraggly, messy hair that, now wet, was falling in front of parts of his face. Eyes that he could swear changed colour like a moving kaleidoscope. 

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then.” Miles snapped out of his fantasy and headed towards the door with his shirt in hand. 

“Wait.” Miles stopped, midway through reaching for the door handle, and turned around. Alex said nothing. Miles spotted his watch on the vanity and smiled. 

“You’re right. Just gotta grab this.” Miles wrapped his body around Alex to reach behind him. Alex backed up into the vanity. Miles grabbed his watch and put it in his other hand to pull back, but then he caught Alex’s eyes. They were in a deadlock for a moment. Miles dropped his watch and took his hand to brush Alex’s hair out of his face.

“Your hair’s getting long now.” Alex did the same by brushing some hair away from Miles’ face. 

“Your’s too...Thanks for making that whole situation, less awkward.” 

“It’s no problem.” They spoke, still millimetres away from each other, touching nose to nose. Miles pulled away a bit. Alex licked his chapped lips as if his body was getting ready for something his mind wasn’t anticipating. They stood together, silent, for what could be described as aeons but maybe was only a few moments before Alex pushed into Miles. The most gentle and briefest kiss occurred that was faster than a single bird chirp. But then, there was another and another. Each lasting longer than the last. All of a sudden, their lips were locked as if, if they stopped kissing, they would stop breathing. Their breathy moans filling the room. Alex’s lips opened wide as an open invitation that Miles gladly accepted, running his tongue across the bumps of the roof of Alex’s mouth. Miles pulled away, and Alex exhaled euphorically, lifting his head back. Miles found his way to Alex’s neck and pricked a little bite on Alex’s neck before returning to his lips. Miles opened his eyes and caught his reflection in the mirror. 

“Ahhhhhh!” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back with another update. This is one is a bit shorter than the last, as it was initially a part of the previous chapter. I was pretty nervous about updating this story, as it didn't shine the brightest of lights on our boys. However, with some advice, I was convinced to continue! I still hope you enjoy it! See some silliness in the disaster that unfolds.
> 
> Regards!

“Ahhhhhh!” 

Miles slammed his hands in front of his face. Then, he grabbed the doorknob and ran out of the room. He didn’t stop for a second until he was out of the house. Alex didn’t get a chance to stop him. He was out of the house before Alex had even left the bathroom. He was left standing there, suddenly alone.

“Miles! Miles!” Alex ran to the second-floor staircase. He stuck his head out over the railing to see if he was already long gone. He became sure of that pretty quickly. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Alex whipped his head up to find his eyes catch Eva with a cheeky smile on her face. She was lent up against the wall, holding her swimsuit. She was the one changing in the guest bedroom.

“It’s none of your business.” 

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me anything, Alex. You don’t have to tell me anything.” She was inching towards Alex. 

“You were in there a while.” Alex turned towards Eva.

“I was having trouble taking off my bathing suit.” She released her grip on the swimsuit, revealing its silhouette. Alex’s mouth dropped. Alex may have been a bit dull, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew exactly what she was doing. One mistaken kiss was enough for him for one night. Everything in his body wanted to run away as fast as possible, but one single thought stopped him. It was about Miles. He peered his eyes down and figuratively felt over the fresh hickey on his neck. He remembered it deeply. The heat and utter feeling of euphoria. He moved closer towards Eva and lent into her flirts. 

“That’s crazy.”

He started to feel queasy in his stomach. The thoughts started pouring into his head. About Johanna, and her reaction to a sudden hickey. About telling a lie to her, and her immediate disbelief. It would have to be someone believable, someone, like Eva. He had already told everyone around him that his new song You Probably… was about Eva. This was no way for anyone to find something out about Miles that he didn’t feel comfortable telling. But...why-The queasy feeling came back again but stronger. Why would Eva play along with the lie at face value? Even if she was into him? _“I didn’t make out with your fucking boyfriend! I don’t know what the fuck he was talking about! Ohh my...Miles Kane, you son of a bitch!” “What? What’s going on over there?” “I knew you two were buddy-buddy, but I didn’t know you could be so cold.” “I d-d-d-d-d-d-don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

“Alex! You’re shaking! What’s going on?” Eva walked up close to Alex and started to rub his arms vigorously to warm him up. He actually kinda forgot he was just standing there the whole time, running these thoughts through his head. 

“You should have dried yourself off! You’re still a bit wet. You must be freezing cold.” She held him closer and continued rubbing his arms. It was now and never for dear Alex. 

“Oh!” Alex went all in. Putting everything into a believably natural make-out session. Eva was a bit taken aback at first, but then she leant into it. Her lips tasted like pure regret, nothing like Johanna’s, nothing like Miles’. He leant her down and went in for more. He needed to speed things up here. All he needed was to do it for long enough where her brain will be confused as to if she made the hickey or not. 

“Alexander David Turner!!” Alex’s eyes shot open. He recognized that voice. He turned his head to the stairwell, and there she was. Johanna, with steam coming out of her ears. In the most ungraceful way, he drops Eva and runs over to the stairwell. Eva attempts to catch her balance but awkwardly falls down to the ground, feeling indefinitely confused. One second she was passionately love-making with Alex, and then another second he drops her like a dead fish.

“I can’t believe you!”

“Johanna!! Johanna! Wait! It meant nothing! Please!” Johanna rushed down a couple of stairs and started to dead-eye Alex. 

“I was gone for about ten minutes!”

“It meant nothing, Johanna! Please!” Alex’s words’ hit Eva like a tonne of bricks. She sits up.

“That meant NOTHING?” Eva screams. Johanna starts rushing down the stairs. In need of a quick answer, Alex gives her one.

“Well. Yeah...Johanna!” He runs down the stairs after her, leaving Eva aghast. 

“I can’t believe it!”

“Johanna.” 

“And to think I thought that you were worried about me! You were just waiting for me to leave!” Johanna hurried to gather all of her belongings.

“That’s not true, Johanna! You know that’s not true!” She faced Alex with a pile of belongings in her hands. 

“Well, you have time to explain.” Alex’s body sank down to the ground. He drove Johanna here. She was about a twenty-minute drive away from home.

“Johanna, let me explain.” Her face turned to a frown. She motioned towards the door.

“Well, c’mon, explain, but in the car. Now go.” So, they left the party, without saying any goodbyes or well wishes. Just headed out on the long ride home. 

-

Alex pulled up to Johanna’s house, both of them had dried up tears in their eyes. Johanna opened the car door, clumsily gathered up her things, and exited the car.

“Can I help you carry anything in?” Alex asked, with a sombre tone. She turned towards Alex.

“Stop flattering yourself, Alex.” She replied as she kicked the passenger side door closed.

_She walked away while her shoes were untied. When the eyes were all red. You could see that we’d cried. And I watched, and I waited ’til she was inside. Forcing a smile and waving goodbye._


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks later

There was an unspoken tension between Miles and Alex. Even after they chatted and realized that was everything was okay between the two of them, they argued and bickered, over the smallest of things. Alex showing up late or Miles showing up ‘too’ early. Their messy bedrooms or a messy studio. Little things that a group of friends wouldn’t think twice about, but there was an impending boiling point. The voices would start to get louder, and the name-calling would have more bite. 

Miles loved learning about music and was very close friends with the band. So, nearly every Arctic Monkeys practice, studio or garage, Miles was there. This particular time, Alex was getting especially late, and Miles’ breathing, was sounding more and more like a tea kettle ready to be taken off the stove. The band was scattered across the recording room, some standing, some sitting with an instrument in hand. Miles was sitting on a stool near the back of the room. Miles starting tapping his finger, that’s when Alex walked through the door. 

“I’m so sorry-” Alex was cut off by Miles.

“Well, guess who decided to show up! You’re fifteen minutes late!” Miles has this stern look in his eye. As if he was disappointed with Alex. Alex took one look into those eyes and replied hastily. 

“Oh, calm down, mardy bum!” 

“STOP calling me that!” Miles screamed, everyone dropped what they were doing, and the room fell silent. Alex got a look of remorse in his eyes. 

“At least you could call him a mardy bugger, and be proper about it.” Jamie piped in. 

“Jay, you’re not helping!” Miles yelled back. 

“As I was saying, I’m sorry! I was late!” Tensions were rising rapidly. 

“You know, you’re supposed to be doing something here?” 

“As I was saying, I’m so sorry I was late! I missed the train and traffic was a mess! But I’m here, now!”

“Do you even care?” 

“Yes, of course, I care! Why would you ask me that?” 

“Why!” Miles jumps off the stool and nearly tips it over.

“Because, I’m here all the time, and I always feel like I’m the one telling you you have an album to be making right now! I- I don’t know why I’m even the one that has to tell you this!! I’m in a band of my own! I don’t have to deal with this shit!” Miles stormed off and pushed past Alex. A breeze sweeps through the room, as everyone breathes. 

“Miles!” Alex calls out peacefully, running after Miles. 

Miles doesn’t make it far as Alex is easily able to catch up to him in the hallway. 

“What’s wrong? What’s really wrong? What’s gotten on between us? Is it-” Alex asked slowly.

“No! It isn’t that. I don’t know what it is. Why have you, started calling me that? I don’t like it.” Miles interjects. Alex puts his head down in shame.

“I’m sorry, Miles, I should have never done it. I know you don’t like it.” Alex looks up at those beading eyes.

“But, I hate when you look at me like that. I just hate it! You look at me like you’re disappointed in me, and Miles, you’re the last person in the world I could stand to be disappointed in me.” Miles curls his lips inwards and becomes well aware of his facial expression. 

“So, I get mad at you for no reason. I just can’t look at that face. It feels like a gun to the face.” Miles looks up at Alex.

“I suppose...have you spoken to Eva since? She’s my friend and you still really hurt her.” Alex’s face dropped down to the ground, and he heaved a massive sigh. He put his head in his hands.

“Ohhhh, I’m a f*cking arsehole! No, I haven’t. Oh, I got so caught up in trying to repair things with Johanna, and I think things are being repaired, but I’m not sure, I mean not really. I’ve had so much on my mind. I’m an idiot. I’ll go and talk to Eva right after this!” 

“Yeah, you are. You’re an idiot for that reason, and you’re an idiot for what you did. But, I know we chatted about all of this, but I never really properly have had a chance to thank you yet. For what you did.” Alex propped his head up and looked at Miles quizzically. 

“It was a one-time thing?” Miles asked, making sure of it. 

“One time.” 

“So, I’m glad no one knows about it, and no one is ever going to know about because we swore to never speak about it again.”

“Never again.” Miles brought Alex in for a quick hug.

“Thanks, Al.”

“Of course, now you’ll just tell me next time when something about me is bothering you, right? ‘Cause I can’t stand that look on your face.” They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“Yeah, yeah, I should have told how I felt. I don’t know why I didn’t. So, you’ll talk to Eva?”

“Yes, I will, right after this. I’m sorry, Miles, that I haven’t yet.” Miles gets a smile on his face and pats Alex on the back.

“Okay, now go on in there! You’ve got a record to be making.” Miles starts walking in the opposite direction of the studio room. 

“See you around, Mi! We’re all good?” 

“We’re all good. See ya!”

-

The next day, Miles popped over to Alex’s place to check upon him. He entered the house, greeted Mr and Mrs Turner and then headed straight up to Alex’s room. The door was wide open. Alex was sitting on his bed, fiddling with an acoustic guitar. Miles knocked on the door twice. Alex looked up and got the brightest smile on his face. 

“Hey.”

“Hey, how’d your talk with Eva go yesterday?” Alex’s smile dropped a little bit.

“Okay. We were able to chat a bit about it, but I think she still hates me.” Miles chuckles slightly. Alex put his focus back onto the acoustic guitar. He quietly started strumming notes and singing under his breath.

“And out come all these words. Oh, there’s a very pleasant side to you. A side I much prefer.” Miles steps further into Alex’s bedroom.

“What are you working on?” Miles asks. Alex looks up, surprised, mouth slightly open. 

“Oh, nothin. Just something for my personal collection.” 

“Personal collection?” Miles asks with an upward inflexion, taking a seat beside Alex.

“Well, can I hear it?” Miles asks, curiously. Alex immediately becomes shy and nervous at the idea. He wouldn’t usually be worried about this, but this song is different. He may have worked all day yesterday at the studio on it, but he’s still nervous to show it to Miles. It’s about him, and Miles will be able to tell, so he’s nervous about his reaction.

“No, no, no, you don’t want to hear it.”

“I do! C’mon! Why can’t I hear it?” These deflections only spike Miles’ curiosity more. What’s Alex all shy about? 

“No, no, no, it’s just for my personal collection. You don’t want to hear it.”

“Oh, c’mon, Al! All you’re doing is making me want to hear it more!”

“No, no.”

“I’m on the edge of my seat here.” Alex looks up into those big, curious, and beautiful eyes. He realizes that this is not a fight he is going to win.

“No, aw, just- Just remember that the only people that ever heard me call you mardy bum were all the bandmates, is that okay?” Miles sighs and rolls his head. 

“Yeah, that’s okay.” 

“Okay.” Alex squeaks out. He audibly sighs and then plays the first chords of Mardy Bum.

Well, now then, mardy bum. I’ve seen your frown, and it’s like looking down. The barrel of a gun and it goes off. And out come all these words...Cuddles? Well, it was better than snuggles...No! I think it’s terrific! I think the album could use an acoustic song like this. No, really! I like it! 

-

2007

Miles and Alex were chilling inside London’s Miloco Studios. The two were sitting on stools on either side of a tall table. Alex was sitting with a pen, and his notebook open on the table. Miles was sitting with a guitar in hand. The two were deep in thought. Miles was fiddling around with the soon-to-be 505 intro. 

“I can’t think of what to bloody do with that, Mi.” Alex starting tapping his pen on the table. 

“Well, maybe we just need to think about something else right now. What was that you were fiddling around with Nick the other day? What’s this?” Miles tapped on a note on Alex’s notebook called “Do Me A Favour.” Alex pulls the notebook away from Miles, scared for Miles to hear about this song. 

“It’s something, personal.” Alex gets out.

“I’ve heard that before. What is it? Maybe it’ll give us some inspiration for this other song.” Alex frowned. 

“I don’t know about it. I think it’s too personal. I don’t know what I want to do with it yet.” 

“Well, let me hear it.”

“It’s all about what happened after, you know what.”

“We swore never again, right?”

“Never again.” 

“So, if this about not about that, but afterwards, why would I have a problem with it?” Alex bit his lower lip and tilted his head up. 

“So, C’mon let me hear it.” Miles smirks from the left side. He hands off his guitar to Alex, and Alex starts playing Do Me a Favour. 

“Perhaps “Fuck off” might be too kind. Perhaps “Fuck off” might be too kind.” Alex finishes the last few notes of the song as Miles has this huge grin on his face. 

“That’s really banging, Al! That’s really great!”

“Really?” 

“Yeah! This song, needs to go on the album. This song’s gonna be your next hit. I think this song’s gonna outlive you, Al.” A smile appears slowly over Alex’s face.

“That might be the nicest compliment anyone’s ever given me.” A grin appears on Miles. Miles reaches for the guitar, puts it back on his lap. 

“So, let’s see if that did anything.” Miles starts playing the 505 intro again, on repeat until Alex tells him otherwise. Alex looks deeply into Miles’ eyes as he plays. He hears a sound in his head. The sound of a recently heard song. 

“It’s missing something.” 

“What?” Alex gets up and grabs his pen and notebook. He starts walking away from the table. Miles follows quickly with the guitar in hand. Alex sits down at the piano and plays two low notes repeatedly. 

“It sounds like Ennio Morricone.” Miles pipes up. 

“That’s because it is,” Alex replies, not taking his eyes off the piano. 

“Play that little number again.” Miles plays the little intro, and once again, not stopping until Alex says otherwise. Suddenly, with the two notes being played and Miles continuing his playing, Alex starts singing.

“I’m going back to 505. If it’s a seven-hour flight or a forty-five minute drive. In my imagination, you’re lying on your side, with your between my eyes.” Alex picks up his notepad and starts writing those lyrics on a new page. Miles stops playing, and Alex interjects.

“No, don’t stop playing that.”

“Maybe, it would be best if I recorded for you,” Miles said cheerily. 

“Yeah, that would be great.” Alex doesn’t look up from his notepad. Miles starts to walk away but stops abruptly. 

“Wait, I have one question for you?” Alex scratches something out on his notepad and continues writing.

“Hands between your thighs, that sounds better,” Alex says, absentmindedly.

“Yeah, that does sound better. Wait a minute, I have a question for you.” Miles says, laughing. Alex looks up at Miles.

“What’s 505?” Alex curls his lips inwards.

“It’s Johanna’s room number,” Alex replies, quietly. Miles nods his head.

“A song was written about Johanna, featuring me. I thought we were never gonna talk about that event again.” Miles quickly turns his neutral face to a smile and a quiet chuckle. Alex joins in on the soft laugh. 

-

“His clocks are all wrong, but he knows by how much. He’ll turn on you quick with a clinical touch. With a clinical touch, he’ll sit you in fits. And force you to bed for the fruits of the rich. And he’ll burn you alive. He knows where you hide. Leave you cold and surprised. You know he broke two hearts in two weeks” Alex and Miles are in Black Box Studios, recording a track for their single Age of The Understatement called Two Hearts in Two Weeks. Once they finish their first take, James comes into the recording with excitement in his eyes. 

“Boys! Boys! Boys!” Miles picks up his beer bottle from off the ground and takes a sip. 

“That is a killer track! Man, there is some energy on it! And the idea of breaking two hearts in two weeks. Man, that would be an accomplishment.” Miles and Alex both roll their eyes, and Miles, hiding behind his beer bottle interjects.

“Try two hearts in one afternoon.” Alex and Miles burst into laughter as Alex’s eyes go wide. Giving Miles a look of ‘how dare you?’

“What?” James asks. 

“James, we would tell you but,” Miles and Alex both look at each other then back at James and say in unison.

“We swore never to speak about it again.” This causes another ruckus of laughter between the two of them, leaving James more confused than he was before. Just left wondering ‘why do I even ask anymore? This is just another inside joke I will never understand.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for making it all the way here! This is nearly the last of my little story. There is one more past scene, then into the epilogue. I hope you all have enjoyed this silly thing! I really wanted to talk about this idea in my head that the same event inspired some of the greatest AM songs ever written by Alex! And I promise that's all of the songs, (that I know of, at least.) Keep commenting and keep kudos-ing! Ask me about my weird headcanon! This story is nearly complete! And it will be finished very soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reaching the end of this story! I am forever grateful to you now. It took me a long while to get inspired as to how I wanted the first half of this chapter to go down. So, I thought no better time than Milex Big Bang to force myself to finish this story off for everyone. Thanks to Gasdancer, and her story Joie De Vivre, for giving me the best idea of what recording for TLSP1 was like! Then, thanks to Milexlove, for giving me the inspiration to write, publish and finish this story! I couldn't have done it without you! 
> 
> To all those that made to the end, Thank you! I hope you all enjoy the conclusion to Kiss Me Properly.

August 2008

  
Alex and Miles have spent close to a week now in this tiny farmhouse people call Black Box Studios in France. It’s been days of wantful daydreams for Alex and Miles, getting jealous over flirtatious French birds, experiencing increasing tension back and forth between one and the other, finding themselves amid near-kisses. It’s enough to knock your socks off, but what could you say? The setting was perfect. The expansive French countryside, the green grass and the fresh farm air. Inside there was the shared bedroom, the engineering booth too small for comfort, the quant kitchen/living room combination that seated about three on the one living room couch. The circumstances were divine. The indulgent French wine, the peace of the countryside, the feeling of finally putting together something that was theirs alone. Little lyrics here and there, guitar chords that merged with words to create enough for a fully-fledged album that had only their names on it, Alex Turner and Miles Kane. 

  
All this excitement and building tension come to relief, as Miles and Alex finally have the house to themselves for the night. James and Jamie (the Engineer) have left the house for the night and have not the intention of coming back before midnight.

  
Two glasses of wine in and Miles spills to Alex that Miles found a secret cabinet in the hallway in between the living room and bedrooms. They walk, sneakily, over to the cabinet in the hall. It’s a short and wide, black cabinet with a corded phone hooked up on top. The cabinet door has a little round pull handle with a keyhole underneath it. 

  
“It’s not locked?” Alex asked, perplexed at the sight of the object he has not noticed his whole time here. 

  
“No. That’s what I thought at first,” Miles devilishly replies, not hiding his excitement for the insignificant new mystery. 

  
“But,” Miles gently pulls the door open, and it creaks mystically. At first, they can see nothing inside but darkness and dust, but the two both bend down simultaneously and discover the innards that are held inside. 

  
“It’s a bunch of records,” Miles states, mildly disappointed. He pulls them out one by one, showing them to Alex and placing them down beside himself. First is ‘Days Of Wine And Roses, Moon River And Other Academy Award Winners’ by Frank Sinatra. It’s ‘Sincerely, Nat King Cole’ by Nat King Cole. 

  
“A bunch of jazz records.” Alex points out. 

  
“Yeah,” Miles replies, becoming increasingly disappointed in this new mystery. Miles continues pulling out records, ‘The Wildest!’ by Louis Prima, ‘In a Silent Way’ by Miles Davis and, ‘A Love Supreme’ by John Coltrane. Miles sighs, and looks up at Alex.

  
“Well, I suppose we could listen to one.”

  
“Yeah! Which one?” Alex always loves the idea of listening to records with Miles, quite possibly his favourite pastime. Miles starts putting the records back one by one but leaves the Frank Sinatra one out. 

  
“Well, my mom’s show me this one before. It’s a classic, Frank Sinatra. Never too much of a huge fan of his.” Miles looks up at Alex, unassuredly, while holding the record in his hand. 

  
“It sounds good! Let’s give it a spin.” Miles smiles then hurriedly close the cabinet door and stands up with the Frank Sinatra record in hand. The two make their way back into the living room. Miles sets up the compact record player he packed for the trip on an end table near the kitchen while Alex pours himself another glass of wine. Miles flip the cover over and examine the songs on the back. 

  
“I think I know this one pretty well!” Miles exclaims excitedly. Alex smiles and plops himself on the end of the couch with his wine glass in hand while Miles moves the needle onto track three, playing “The Way You Look Tonight.” 

  
The two start slightly moving to the music. The lyrics kick in, and Miles gets into the groove more. He begins by lipsyncing the words but moves into singing by the second verse, really moving with the music now.

  
“Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm. And your cheeks so soft. There is nothing for me, but to love you. And the way you look tonight.” Miles uses his hand motions and not-changing eye contact to let Alex know he is only singing to him. Miles sways closer to Alex. He takes a seat on the end of the coffee table in front of Alex, crossing his legs. They continue to keep eye contact as Miles continues singing directly to Alex.

  
“With each word, your tenderness grows. Tearing my fear apart. And that laugh wrinkles your nose. Touches my foolish heart.” Without missing a beat, Alex jumps in for the next verse.

  
“Lovely; never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it?” The two begin to harmonize perfectly as if it was heavily rehearsed. 

  
“Cause I love you. Just the way you look tonight.” Miles uncrosses his leg, which proceeds to nearly knock the table over. Miles clumsily jumps from the couch and continues dancing. He reaches out his arms for Alex and Alex places his wine on the coffee table before taking Miles’ arms. The two begin to ballroom dance, and as if they could read each other’s minds, take places with Miles in the lead and Alex following along. They dance with no form or in any particular manner, Alex swung out from Miles at suitable times then pulled back into position. Miles continues to sing as the instrumental ends. 

  
“And that laugh that wrinkles your nose. It touches my foolish heart. Lovely, Don't you ever change. Keep that breathless charm.” Their faces beaming bright with happiness as they sway along to the music. 

  
“Won't you please arrange it? Cause I love you.” Miles ever so dramatically swings Alex out as far as possible. Then, pulls him back in now dancing cheek to cheek, Alex’s back to Miles’ chest, eyes locked together swaying side by side. 

  
“And the way you look tonight.” They softly start to move towards the couch but stop dead still for the last line. They look far past each other’s eyes and look deep into their souls as Miles mouths the final line. 

  
“Just the way you look tonight.” The song ends, and they continue over to the couch. Without losing grasp or falling out of the position the two fall down onto the sofa, still wrapped in each other’s arms. Alex unhinges his grasp and flips over, so he is straddling Miles. Without a moment’s notice, Alex attacks Miles open and vulnerable sides, tickling him. They both burst into fits of laughter as Miles cried out for mercy through the giggles.

  
“Stop. Stop! Stop. Stahp! Stop. Al, stop! Stop! Stop.” Miles grabbed both of Alex’s wrist and pinned them against the couch. Now, there they were, Miles, pinning Alex’s wrists against the sofa while Alex was straddling him. They could barely hear their heartbeats. The whole room fell silent. Simultaneously, Alex and Miles leaned in for a kiss. It was soft, passionate, and lasted for a few moments. One gentle kiss was all they needed to share their love at that moment in time. They looked into each other’s eyes confident of one thing.

  
“Now, that was a proper kiss,” Miles stated.

  
“Yeah,” Alex agreed softly.

  
“Let’s...promise, to never talk about that time again.” 

  
“Agreed. That was ugh- much more proper first kiss. Much more tellable story.” 

  
“Yes...So never again?”

  
“Never again.” Alex looked solemn. Miles held out his pinky finger and scoffed, Alex scoffed as well and interlaced his pinky finger with Miles’. 

  
“We swear now to never talk about that event again. Not in songs, not talking about anything surrounding the event, nothing, ever again?” 

  
“Nothing ever again.” 

  
-

  
“Wow. Who’s knows about that event?” Eva found herself enthralled in the story. Once it delved deeper into what happened after the encounter with her, she was all ears. She discovered that she couldn’t help herself. She was leaned in as far as she could be towards the boys. She long forgot about her drink and the cold rain on her body. 

  
“No one. There’s you, Johanna, and me and Miles,” Alex said. Alex and Miles were as solemn as could be. These were not easy memories to bring back up, especially after all these years. 

  
“Wow! How?” Eva wanted to be straight-laced with them, now that the story was over, but she found herself still in enticed by the end of this story. 

  
“Well, we never brought it up again, so it never came up,” Miles replied straight-faced. Eva was still stunned. However, she pulled herself together, breathed in and out, and put on her straight-laced face. 

  
“Doesn’t feel better to have that all out now?” Alex and Miles dipped their heads down further.

  
“Yeah, it does. Reminds us of how we could be such fools back in the day.” Miles says, with disappointed embarrassment. 

  
“You’re still such fools.” Eva doesn’t skip a beat with her reply. Miles and Alex look up at Eva. 

  
“Well. I like to think that we’ve grown, at least a little bit.” Miles said unassuredly. 

  
“Yeah. Not really.” Eva came back. The two averted their gaze away around the kitchen. Alex looked up at Eva with his doleful eyes. 

  
“Eva-” 

  
“No! No! Alex, no! I know what you’re going to say! Do you even know what you’re sorry for?” Eva expressed.

  
“What?” Miles quickly asked.

  
“You know, You Probably Could See Alex’s Love for Miles from Ten Yards Away, didn’t help either?” Eva stated. Alex and Miles snickered behind hands. 

  
“You realize Alex, that that’s the only reason I was hitting on you that day. Because I thought you were into me.” Alex doesn’t say anything, but his face says everything needed to be said. He really didn’t realize this.

  
“I know you still would have kissed me. I’m certain of that now.”

  
“Well-” Alex tries to cut off Eva, but Eva continues.

  
“But, I gave you the idea...That’s what really hurt Alex. I was a fool, ten years your senior, that somehow believed that you were into me.” A sorrowful silence fell over the room. 

  
“I’m sorry, Eva. I never realized that that's what happened. I’m sorry.” Alex apologized with genuine feeling.

  
“Well, that’s all that I wanted, was it for it be out in the open again. For two to remember and acknowledge that this is a part of your history. That this really did happen.” Eva said with forgiveness in her voice.

  
“It can be so easy to push away. We never made it easy on anyone, including each other. And it all started here. We didn’t realize how much this would domino effect the rest of our lives,” Miles spoke poignantly. 

  
“Thanks, Eva, for bringing this back up to us. Reminding us that we always made the same mistake, over and over and over again. Where it came from and, reminding us of what was said mistake.” Alex spoke with regret and sadness in his heart, but with a feeling of conclusion.

  
“Well. I’m gonna go now then. Leave you two to it. Now that everything is said, I officially will not, not ever talk to you again.” Eva speaks friendly and starts to head for the front door. Alex and Miles get up from their stools and follow Eva to the door.

  
“A huge thanks to you, Eva. We didn’t have to do this,” Miles said.

  
“Yeah, we can’t thank you enough,” Alex replied. 

  
“Well, I’m glad we did it,” Eva said with a smile across her face. Eva opened the front door to find it still raining out. She turned towards Alex and Miles. 

  
“Well, I’m not staying here. Let me get an Uber.” Eva pulled out her phone and orders an Uber for herself while keeping the door open. 

  
“Let me grab my phone for you, so we can stay in contact again.” Miles eagerly says, as runs into another room. Eva waits a moment for Miles to be out of earshot, then grabs Alex by the collar and pulls him close. Her eyes screaming retribution.

  
“Listen here, you little punk. You are on your last straws with that man. Another one of your mess-ups and you could lose him for good, and not get him back this time. So, stay in line, okay. Understand?” Alex looks petrified. 

  
“Understood. Understood." 

  
“Okay, good, because between you and me, I don’t think you deserve him.” Eva lets go of Alex and lightly wipes out the wrinkles on Alex’s shirt. She grows a big grin on her face as she looks outside. Alex was still slightly petrified and phased.

  
“Well, would you look at that? My ride’s here. He must have been just around the corner. Miles!” Miles comes running over with his phone. 

  
“Oh jeez, that was quick. Here.” Miles hands the phone to Eva, who proceeds to put in her contact information. Miles looks worriedly at Alex but then kisses him lightly on the cheek. Eva hands the phone back to Miles.

  
“Well, see you around,” Eva says while heading out the door. 

  
“Let’s catch a pint sometime! Catch up!” Miles yells.

  
“Yeah, stay in touch!” 

“Will do!” Eva heads into the car, and Miles gently closes the front door. Miles faces Alex.

  
“You look shook. What’s up?” Alex breaks out into a gleaming smile.

  
“Nah, I’m all good.” Alex outstretches his arm and Miles grabs himself around Alex’s waist. He looks up into his eyes.

  
“Well, should we jump in the shower or something? Get out of these clothes.” Miles asks.

  
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Alex replies calmly, then let’s go of Miles for a moment.

  
Alex locks the front door and goes right back into Miles’ arms. 


End file.
